I’m Still Here… For My Children”
If you see me outside, you will think I’m fine.
You will think I have a normal home, a normal marriage, a normal life.
But inside my house… it’s a different story.
My husband is a womanizer.
Not the kind people whisper about… the kind everyone knows.
He chases women openly. He doesn’t hide it. He doesn’t even pretend anymore.
And the worst part?
That’s where most of his money goes.
We have three children together.
Three innocent lives that depend on me.
And every day, I wake up thinking about them before I think about myself.
Because if it was just me… maybe I would have left.
But it’s not just me.
He even rented another apartment.
Not for business. Not for family.
For women.
That is where he takes them.
Different women. Different faces. Different stories.
And I know.
At first, I confronted him.
I gathered courage one day and spoke. I told him how I felt, how it was affecting me, how it was breaking this home.
Do you know what he told me?
“Do your worst.”
That was the moment something inside me broke.
Not loudly.
Quietly.
Because I realized…
This is not a man who is ready to change.
It didn’t even stop there.
He travels.
He brings women from far places—Kano, Maiduguri—like it’s nothing. Like they are items he is collecting.
And every time I hear it, every time I see signs of it, something inside my chest tightens.
Lately… something else has been bothering me even more.
Something I don’t even fully understand, but I feel it.
The kind of women he brings now…
The things I hear…
It feels like everything is getting worse.
I don’t even recognize the man I married anymore.
Or maybe…
I never truly knew him.
Some nights, I sit quietly and ask myself:
What kind of life is this?
What kind of home am I raising my children in?
But then I look at them.
My children.
And I remember why I’m still here.
I want to live.
Not just survive.
Live long enough to raise them properly.
Protect them.
Guide them.
Make sure they don’t grow up thinking this kind of life is normal.
Because that is my biggest fear.
Not even him anymore.
But the effect of all this… on them.
I am tired.
Emotionally tired.
But I am still standing.
For them.
People will say, “Why don’t you leave?”
Like it’s easy.
Like life is that simple.
It’s not.
There are things people don’t see.
Responsibilities.
Fear.
Uncertainty.
So for now…
I stay strong.
I stay careful.
I stay focused on my children.
But deep inside…
I know one thing for sure:
This is not the life I dreamed of.
And one day…
I will choose peace.
Not just for me…
But for my children too.