Thought I Was That Girl”
I entered university in my mid-twenties.
I wasn’t like most girls in my class. I was older, more exposed, and I already knew what I wanted from life—or at least, I thought I did.
I didn’t come to school to struggle. I didn’t come to suffer. I told myself I deserved a soft life.
And not long after I resumed… I met him.
He was an Alhaji.
Rich. Connected. Comfortable.
The kind of man people respect without asking questions.
He noticed me. And once he did… everything changed.
He spoiled me.
Money was never a problem.
He bought me the latest iPhone at that time. The kind people would see and immediately know you were not a regular student.
Then he rented an apartment for me.
Two million naira per year.
I still remember the first day I entered that house. Clean. Spacious. Beautiful. I stood there and told myself, “Yes… this is the life I deserve.”
That was when my mindset changed.
Completely.
I stopped seeing myself as a normal girl.
I started seeing myself as someone “high value.” Someone above struggle. Someone who couldn’t be approached by just anybody.
Men would talk to me…
Students, guys trying to build themselves, average guys with dreams…
And I would ignore them.
Sometimes I wouldn’t even reply.
Sometimes I would just look at them and laugh inside my head.
Because in my mind, I had already made it.
I was with a rich man.
Why would I settle for less?
My standards became something else.
Not based on who I was…
But based on what I was enjoying.
I didn’t build anything for myself.
I didn’t invest.
I didn’t think long term.
I was just living in the moment, enjoying the lifestyle, believing it would last forever.
But nothing like that lasts forever.
One day… just like that…
He left.
No long explanation.
No emotional goodbye.
Just distance… silence… and then nothing.
At first, I didn’t panic.
I told myself, “It’s fine. I’ll find another one.”
But reality hit me slowly.
The money stopped.
The comfort stopped.
The lifestyle I was used to… disappeared.
And that was when I realized something painful.
Everything I thought I had…
Was never really mine.
I went back to my old life.
But it didn’t feel the same anymore.
My old friends?
They looked at me differently.
Some mocked me quietly.
Some openly laughed.
Some said, “She thought she was better than us.”
And the truth is…
They were right.
I had changed.
And now I was forced to return to a life I no longer knew how to live.
But instead of adjusting…
I tried to maintain that same lifestyle.
That was my biggest mistake.
I couldn’t afford it anymore, but I didn’t want to let it go.
I didn’t want to look like I had fallen.
I didn’t want people to say, “She has gone back to nothing.”
So I started making decisions I never thought I would make.
Little by little…
Step by step…
I crossed lines I once said I would never cross.
I told myself it was temporary.
Just to survive.
Just to maintain appearances.
Just until I figured things out.
But life doesn’t work like that.
Temporary decisions can become permanent consequences.
Before I knew it…
I had lost control of my own life.
The same life I once thought I had mastered…
Was now controlling me.
Sometimes I sit down and think about my younger self.
The girl who came into university with dreams.
The girl who wanted something better.
The girl who could have built something real for herself.
And I ask myself…
Where did I go wrong?
Was it when I refused to listen?
Was it when I started looking down on people?
Was it when I confused temporary comfort with permanent value?
I don’t even know anymore.
All I know is this:
Not everything that looks like a blessing… is safe.
Not everything that feels like elevation… is growth.
Sometimes…
It’s just a test.
And I failed mine.
If I could go back…
I would still want a better life.
But I would build it myself.
Slowly. Honestly.
With something that nobody could take away from me overnight.
Because now I understand something I didn’t understand before:
If it’s not truly yours…
One day…
You will lose it.
And when you do…
You might not recognize yourself anymore.