Wallahi what you are feeling is very common especially among many Northern women, but people rarely say it openly.
Sometimes the man you truly love is not yet ready for marriage, while the one ready to marry you is not the one your heart wants.
That situation can confuse a woman badly because one side is emotional peace while the other side looks like stability or opportunity.
From what you said, your heart is clearly leaning toward the man you are dating. You love him, he loves you too, but he is not yet prepared.
The other man is available but you are not attracted to him physically and emotionally. Even the fact that you mentioned his height shows your heart has already rejected him a little, because when a woman genuinely likes a man, small physical things usually stop mattering so much.
The mistake many women make is rushing to marry the “available” man out of fear — fear of age, fear of family pressure, fear of losing marriage opportunities, or fear that the boyfriend may waste their time.
Sometimes it works out, but many times the woman enters the marriage already emotionally disconnected, and later she starts feeling trapped. That is how some women end up constantly comparing their husbands to the man they actually loved before marriage.
At the same time, love alone is not enough if the man is not serious about building a future. A man can love you deeply and still not be ready financially, mentally, or emotionally for marriage. So you need honesty, not fantasy.
Don’t only listen to sweet words. Watch his actions carefully. Is he truly planning for a future with you or just keeping you emotionally attached while time passes? There are men who sincerely need more time, and there are men who simply enjoy the comfort of having a woman waiting for them.
You need balance between heart and reality. Don’t marry someone you genuinely do not want just because he is available. Attraction and emotional connection matter in marriage more than people admit, especially for women.
If you force yourself into a marriage your heart already rejected, small issues later can become huge because the emotional foundation was never strong.
But also don’t wait endlessly for a man without clarity. Have an honest conversation with the one you love. Ask him directly and calmly about his plans, timeline, and intentions. Not pressure, not fighting — clarity.
A serious man may not be fully ready today, but he usually speaks with direction and effort. A unserious man keeps everything vague while expecting you to continue waiting emotionally.
And please remove shame from your mind. Wanting love and wanting marriage at the same time is normal. You are not shallow because attraction matters to you.
You are a human being, not a machine that should marry any available person and automatically become happy.
Marriage is something you may wake up inside every single day for years. Your heart matters too.